Why PMS is a feminist matter
On work sovereignty, cycle synching, and wondering how I got here
Every month I forget.
One morning, I suddenly wake up confused and disappointed about life, and all the choices I ever made no longer make sense to me.
Today is one of those mornings. An innocent Tuesday, I look at my partner next to me in bed and I wonder; do I hate him or love him? His face certainly never looked more annoying to me than on this grey and sombre morning. I look at my calendar and wonder why I ever agreed to have meetings at all; shouldn't I be lying in the lush green grass in my garden and watch the bees suck the nectar off my pink roses instead?
Every month, it takes me a moment too long to remember that it's not me. It's not me waking up and the world looking bleaker than it ever has, while I went to bed glowing with gratitude and happiness less than 9 hours ago. (Like seriously, how?!)
It's not me waking up and immediately sinking into the dark hole of my thoughts. No, it's not me, it's not you, it's not us.
I grab my phone and check my 'Clue' app, and sure enough, welcome to PMS bitchland. It's the damn hormones, people. I KNEW it wasn't me.
Ok, here we go, I know the drill today.
Thoughts: Ignore.
Kettle: On.
Calendar: Cleared of anything urgent.
Favorite sweatpants: Check.
Working from home: Check. Well, I always work from home.
This is certainly NOT how I spent my monthly stay in PMS bitchland just a few years back.
Firstly, there was no app tracking my cycle. I would, sort of, register the bleakness enveloping my thoughts and feelings, but mostly just get on with it. Pain? Can be ignored. If one species on earth can handle an extraordinary amount of pain, it's women. I was no exception, a true PMS warrior. There was no way that I would let myself be influenced by a few little hormones, cancel my meetings, show weakness to my team. No way, not me. I am strong, I rise above the pain. I beat the hormones, holding up my PMS sword, beautifully embroidered with studded cutting-sharp shiny diamonds.
And while I still think that women are an incredibly powerful species, I no longer just get on with it during my (pre-)period.
[Before the privilege police comes knocking on my door; yes I'm aware many women do not have the luxury to throw on sweats when PMS arrives, but hear me out.. this is a systemic issue, not just a personal one.]
So here's the thing.
Women operate on a 28-day hormonal cycle, men on 24 hours. The 9–5, Monday-to-Friday grind? It was literally designed around the male hormonal cycle, a rhythm that resets every 24 hours. Testosterone spikes in the morning which helps with focus, and dips in the evening, stimulating rest. Rinse and repeat every day. But women? We’re on an entirely different rhythm. (I wrote a Linkedin post about it that went viral).
We are put at a disadvantage scientifically speaking. Plus if anything, we just need to look at nature to realize that the acyclic set-up of our work week is insane.
I do sometimes wonder if not having the luxury to stay home from period pain makes the pain less severe. Like the fact that burnout barely exists in developing countries (or in the lower working class for that matter), because people simply cannot afford to be burned out.
Then again, we keep the vicious power cycle in place this way. Instead of working against our cyclical nature, can we design an alternative system that turns our hormones into a superpower, not a limitation? On an individual level, cycle synching our work is golden. It will look something like this:
🌑 Menstrual (Rest + reflection)
🌒 Follicular (Planning + ideation)
🌕 Ovulation (Visibility + connection)
🌘 Luteal (Execution + completion)
For everyone that doesn't have the freedom to schedule their own work week, what we need is a workplace where taking a paid moon day off (or two) is normalized, even celebrated, not guilt-tripped.
Period pain is like having a heart attack after all... Not my words, watch Comedian Sasheer Zamata nail it in this 1 min clip.
I am honestly tired of seeing women operate in a system that limits half of the world population. Just imagine the level of productivity and creativity if women globally were to be setting their own work hours..
Rant, over. Time to put on the kettle and drink from my favorite PMS cup #mood.
Love, Valerie