A beautiful sharing, thanks Val. I’ve been on my own journey with the balance of softness and strength, not that I perceive them as binaries; as you’ve pointed out wonderfully, softness can be strength, so then we must unpack our (mostly masculine) depictions and expectations of how “strength” manifests. Someone of the boomer gen – white, male – “explained” to me recently that, as sad as it was, “women just lack the grit that’s needed in business”. Initially in shock and lacking an adequate response, I’ve since thought a lot about the deeply engrained notions of “strength” and “leadership” that persist, and how it undermines everything from politics to business to home life. To compete in a patriarchal system, women learned to exhibit strength in a very particular way, only perhaps this isn’t aligned with the multiple ways we – all people – hold and exercise strength, and pertinently, the diverse and many roles that are needed for our societies and communities to thrive. Anyway, this is to say, I’m very excited to read your newsletters to come, to peer into how you unpack this complex topic in an undoubtedly liberating way ✨✨
Love this Rachel, and thanks for adding. I like the idea that there are diverse and many roles needed for communities to thrive - enough room for both the feminine and masculine to co-exist and thrive 🔥
Thanks for sharing Val, it makes me happy to read and also witness how you are slowly embracing your softness and letting your guard down, at work and life. Meanwhile, I can also resonate with your words. Naturally, I am a very warm and sensitive person, which I didn't create space for in my working life, because I considered it weak and unsuitable. After learning the hard way, I realized that it is possible to embrace that softness also on a professional level, I just chose the wrong path. Looking forward to following you on this journey and how you untangle feminism..
Thanks for getting vulnerable too, makes it a lot less scary ;) I don't believe in wrong paths, you did what felt 'right' at the time, and are simply course correcting now. Any organization or company should feel lucky to get to experience your warmth and sensitivity 💛
I’m a 62-year old white middle-class female, part of Generation Jones, in the wake of the Boomers. I joined the 80s “Working Girl” environment post-college, with the implanted goal of capturing a corner office. I wore bright-colored big-shoulder-pad power suits with big glasses and big heels — what the fashion created to get us noticed, to take up space in offices where most of our bosses were men — even in the “feminine ghetto” career of advertising with a female to male ratio of 75/35.
Your article has made me think about what I did in the “strong” work culture I grew up in, to “advance” or rather, to grow to where I am now: an overworked entrepreneur who struggles with defining “success” while sitting between classic Boomer culture (strong/masculine) and GenX/Millennial culture (more soft/feminine).
I find myself more comfortable and effective in the latter as well as the next evolution Gen Y/Z work culture. Soft is a superpower. Emotional intelligence is finally recognized as a business strength, not “women’s intuition”. We’re getting there, making change by appeal vs. force.
Love this Amy!! Goes to show how you can defy 'generational categorization' and feel into what actually works for you in this season of your life. "Making change by appeal vs force", spot on. Hope to see you back here, certainly inspiring this 34 year old women with your hard-earned wisdom :)
Nice share, Valerie. Reading your notes made me realise that I’m also on a journey towards reconciliation between softness and strength. However, I’m coming to that meeting point from the opposite direction. I was raised with the notion that softness IS the superpower and nobility of a woman. Only later, after entering the world of entrepreneurship and tech I was pushed to an awakening that without digging out my strength, softness alone won’t take me far. And till today it’s a balancing act. Looking forward to following where your exploration takes you.
In the past, I saw it as a trait that is foreign to me, that it can't coexist with my softness. Not even being aware that it is within me. All reinforced by the patriarchal comments like that I'm too soft and kind to lead etc.
A beautiful sharing, thanks Val. I’ve been on my own journey with the balance of softness and strength, not that I perceive them as binaries; as you’ve pointed out wonderfully, softness can be strength, so then we must unpack our (mostly masculine) depictions and expectations of how “strength” manifests. Someone of the boomer gen – white, male – “explained” to me recently that, as sad as it was, “women just lack the grit that’s needed in business”. Initially in shock and lacking an adequate response, I’ve since thought a lot about the deeply engrained notions of “strength” and “leadership” that persist, and how it undermines everything from politics to business to home life. To compete in a patriarchal system, women learned to exhibit strength in a very particular way, only perhaps this isn’t aligned with the multiple ways we – all people – hold and exercise strength, and pertinently, the diverse and many roles that are needed for our societies and communities to thrive. Anyway, this is to say, I’m very excited to read your newsletters to come, to peer into how you unpack this complex topic in an undoubtedly liberating way ✨✨
Love this Rachel, and thanks for adding. I like the idea that there are diverse and many roles needed for communities to thrive - enough room for both the feminine and masculine to co-exist and thrive 🔥
Mooi Valerie!! Zachte kracht 🙏🏻
Thanks for sharing Val, it makes me happy to read and also witness how you are slowly embracing your softness and letting your guard down, at work and life. Meanwhile, I can also resonate with your words. Naturally, I am a very warm and sensitive person, which I didn't create space for in my working life, because I considered it weak and unsuitable. After learning the hard way, I realized that it is possible to embrace that softness also on a professional level, I just chose the wrong path. Looking forward to following you on this journey and how you untangle feminism..
Thanks for getting vulnerable too, makes it a lot less scary ;) I don't believe in wrong paths, you did what felt 'right' at the time, and are simply course correcting now. Any organization or company should feel lucky to get to experience your warmth and sensitivity 💛
I’m a 62-year old white middle-class female, part of Generation Jones, in the wake of the Boomers. I joined the 80s “Working Girl” environment post-college, with the implanted goal of capturing a corner office. I wore bright-colored big-shoulder-pad power suits with big glasses and big heels — what the fashion created to get us noticed, to take up space in offices where most of our bosses were men — even in the “feminine ghetto” career of advertising with a female to male ratio of 75/35.
Your article has made me think about what I did in the “strong” work culture I grew up in, to “advance” or rather, to grow to where I am now: an overworked entrepreneur who struggles with defining “success” while sitting between classic Boomer culture (strong/masculine) and GenX/Millennial culture (more soft/feminine).
I find myself more comfortable and effective in the latter as well as the next evolution Gen Y/Z work culture. Soft is a superpower. Emotional intelligence is finally recognized as a business strength, not “women’s intuition”. We’re getting there, making change by appeal vs. force.
I look forward to reading more.
Love this Amy!! Goes to show how you can defy 'generational categorization' and feel into what actually works for you in this season of your life. "Making change by appeal vs force", spot on. Hope to see you back here, certainly inspiring this 34 year old women with your hard-earned wisdom :)
Nice share, Valerie. Reading your notes made me realise that I’m also on a journey towards reconciliation between softness and strength. However, I’m coming to that meeting point from the opposite direction. I was raised with the notion that softness IS the superpower and nobility of a woman. Only later, after entering the world of entrepreneurship and tech I was pushed to an awakening that without digging out my strength, softness alone won’t take me far. And till today it’s a balancing act. Looking forward to following where your exploration takes you.
That is really interesting, thanks for sharing Adela. I would love to understand better how you feel that softness 'suppressed' your strength?
In the past, I saw it as a trait that is foreign to me, that it can't coexist with my softness. Not even being aware that it is within me. All reinforced by the patriarchal comments like that I'm too soft and kind to lead etc.